Suffering

Why does God allow suffering? That question has been asked throughout time. I don’t pretend to have the answer, but I do have my own beliefs. They may not be right, but it feels true in my heart and gives me some peace. Please feel free to comment if you agree or disagree.
There is a battle for souls – unseen, but not unfelt. And while I don’t believe that God causes suffering, I do believe he allows it. Not as a test, but more as a way to burnish your soul the way a blacksmith would burnish a sword. The more temptation and sin grab hold of you, the hotter the fire becomes. But at the end, when you emerge, you come out changed – probably not unscathed – but changed, and hopefully for the better.
There are minor tests every day but the major events in your life – tragedy, death, sickness – are the things that can make or break your faith.
The devil is sneaky. He will make you believe things that aren’t true and good, and make you think they are just that. Depression has always been my biggest battle in life, and that shaded all of my relationships with others. I was always looking for souls like mine – dark, cynical souls that cried deeply for a connection with another. I thought I had found such a kindred spirit a few years ago in one of my old professors from college. We connected intellectually, and were both battling with the ideas of faith. He hated the Catholic religion, and for many reasons that will remain unnamed, I didn’t blame him. But we grew close to each other and emailed frequently and hung out as often as we could. We were friends. But one night, things got out of hand – I blacked out and when I "came to" we were too close for comfort. I was in a relationship, and he was married. This was definitely wrong. If I had wanted to, I could have stayed in contact with this man, who I truly felt I had a connection with, but with the help of God - I saw this relationship for what it was. It was toxic. It had the potential to be a lasting friendship if boundaries could have been kept, or it could have become detrimental to both our lives. I had to cut off contact with him. I’m not going to lie. It was hard to do. I suffered. Especially emotionally. But I knew that for my soul, and for his, I had to do what was right in the eyes of God. The battle was hard, the price was great, but hopefully the reward will be greater.