Forgiveness is not a gift

In New York, a prominent Harlem priest has been removed from his post due to allegations of sexual abuse. There has been an uproar of emotion – some people are upset that he has been removed when he has done so much for the community, others are upset that there is yet another case of abuse by a priest. It’s upsetting no matter how you look at it. As someone who has had a fair share of abuse (that’s another story for another time), I side with the alleged victims. People are wondering why the two victims waited so long to bring their case to light. I can understand why. I’m sure it took them a long time to come to terms to what happened to them. They have probably now only reached the point where they can talk about it. It takes a while to accept when bad things happen. And it’s only when you reach a certain breaking point when you feel like you should do something about it. The whole case makes me wonder about forgiveness. Does God expect victims to forgive those who have hurt them? Some people say that it is only through forgiveness that victims can find peace. That I am not sure about – as I am still working through my own issues. In any case, it doesn’t seem fair. First, the victims have to go through all the emotions that come with an abuse case, and then, it seems, that the tables are turned on them again when they are supposed to take the high road and forgive those who have done so much damage. It again puts all the pressure on those who have been hurt. Should they forgive only if their attackers ask for their forgiveness? I admire those who can forgive. But I don’t blame those who can’t. I hope that God does not only provide healing to those who can forgive. I hope that He takes mercy on those who can’t as well, for it seems that they would need his kindness most of all.